meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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