Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
