Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
he had hair everywhere except his balls
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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