Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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