Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
