My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize