I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
