a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
