why didn't you poke me back
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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