Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
