"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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