so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
