i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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