just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
