in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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