so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
