Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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