WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
