he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
