that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
