U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
