boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
