Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
