Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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