He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
she told me i tasted like america
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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