I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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