A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
