I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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