He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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