If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
