You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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