Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
