Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
