i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Rumble strips road head = magical
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
