I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
