i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
