If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
