Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
