We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
