And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize