Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
