he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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