all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
