if you like me you must not know who I am
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
