i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize