i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize