i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
