Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
