why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
