my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
