it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
