This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
