We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I had to cum in my sink.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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