we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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