I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
