you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
