Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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