I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Randomize
