Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize